4 a.m. and he is employing every possible persuasion technique to get me to catch the earliest bus and head to Toronto, 8 hours away. He offers to pay for my trip. And I say no, one hundred times, for no reason except for the fact that I don't want to. I want to see him but I don't want to go. Why don't I want to? I don't know.

I would've been there by now. I wonder if I should've gone.