Finished my first day at teachers college.

I don't really know what to think. I'm not sure if I'm in the right place, but this is the path I chose to follow and there's a reason for that. We kind of just showed up, they told us what to expect, and dove straight into the work. No getting-to-know-you kind of stuff.. no frosh week, which I was really sad about. Everyone starts class later this week or next week, we started today, which is totally lame. I really need a good drinking binge right about now. Helps you bond with strangers that will soon become the friends you'll have for the rest of your life.

Although now I think the purpose of being here is completely career oriented, with minimal social life. They say if you have a job, rethink it. If you are participating in a lot of extra-curricular activities, rethink it. Be prepared to work your ass off.

I miss just learning.. I wish I could be taking more history and art courses. I want to read articles and have discussions. As if, I was never so much of a nerd until I got to my third year of university. I am bored listening to all of this professional mumbo jumbo.. listening to what you should and shouldn't do with a classroom, and having to wait several weeks to be able to put it into practice. It all seems so pointless to me right now.

But this is the way they train teachers in Ontario. They seem to be pretty highly esteemed, and I want to be a teacher in Ontario so I will just have to accept that and do my damn best. Leave all those other timid teacher candidates with no vision to eat my dust.

At least thats what I'll tell myself. Because I'm homesick. I miss the comfort of being in my town, with my friends, in a school I know upside-down and backwards. I needed to get out of there though, I know that. I know this is the best thing for me. But it still sucks.

Dealing with losing who I'm pretty sure was the one meant to be the love of my life. The final nail was driven into the coffin last night (figuratively speaking, of course). I'm trying to deal, trying not to let it distract me from starting this new chapter in my life. It just sucks though. Everything kind of sucks but I'm putting up with it because I know it is temporary. Everything will fall into place soon enough, I'll get over him soon enough.. or eventually.. or maybe not..