Chillin in my motel room, still in Abitibi, where it is -40C with wind chill and blowing snow all all over the place. Going back to Montreal tomorrow, and I look forward to having some me-time and being back in my own space. Hope the cat is not still in heat so I can have some decent sleep.

Yesterday I received word that I am going back to Ottawa for work next week. Clearly, I am excited to be going back again so soon to see Boy. At the same time I'm a little scared.

There is nothing like watching The Bachelor to psyche you out about dating. Do normal people fess up all of their hopes and dreams and past traumas and fears on their first few dates? That seems so strange to me to bare it all at the very beginning. I don't feel like I need to be like that. But I do fear that what if I am unable to at least "open up" and "be vulnerable" like they say. I just don't see myself being one of those girls.

Then again, I probably shouldn't compare myself to those girls on The Bachelor...

Thinking about this guy makes me feel mushy inside. When I read his texts I get that telltale smile that everyone knows who I'm talking to.

And I'm scared to see him again and take it further because I know it can either go uphill or downhill from here. In my experience, more often than not it goes in the downward direction. So you can see why I hesitate.

At the end of the day I just remind myself to chill, take it as it goes, and stop thinking so damn much.