I feel like my thoughts don't want to flow as freely if there isn't a pen in my hand. But I don't have a pen and I don't have a notebook so this will have to do.

I have relinquished the tight grip I had on my stress and anxiety with work. That's done now and I'm ready to move along, on to new things. Still anxious about what lies ahead but I try not to think about that in a bad way, but rather look forward to it.

Last night I spent the night with a man since the last time I spent the night with a man. It was nice to be reminded of what it is supposed to be, what it's supposed to feel like to enjoy being in the company of another in such a context. It was a feeling of complete surrender but also comforting to be able to be so exposed in front of someone (literally and figuratively) and be completely comfortable with it. It's not love and that's ok because it was just nice and that was what I think I needed.

I am left with a lingering, sedated feeling. I like it.