Last time I posted I was writing about a guy who seemed too good to be true, and was waiting for the other shoe to drop.. which it did. It's a fucking piss off but I wouldn't take back anything I said because at the end of the day I felt like I was being disrespected and I'm not having any of that. If this boy should decide to grow up and be reasonable, it would make me very happy. But if he doesn't I will have to consider it a loss and try to rest assured that I'm better off without him.

This week has been difficult to get through with the big grey cloud following me around. It has tried to drag me down, and I only have so much energy to keep my head above the water. I am not plunged into darkness, it isn't that bad, but rather I am just feeling my way through a jaded fog. I'm used to it by now.

Tonight I am having a holiday meal with all the other Canadians. I had to make a dessert and I really couldn't be asked.. but I ended up perusing the web and finally decided upon a red velvet buche de Noel. The website's recipe turned out a bit sketchy so I added peppermint to it, hoping that would improve the turnout. I'll cover it in a dark chocolate glaze and it should be good to go. I really wasn't excited about the idea of baking this morning, to the point that I considered just not going so I wouldn't have to be bothered by any of that shit. But alas I sucked it up and got through it and it wasn't so bad.

What I'd like to do is start my painting today, but I don't know if I'll get a chance. I'd also like to go to the gym and do yoga but I doubt I'll be doing those things either. I wish I could do all the things I'd like to do. Life is hard.