Christmas makes me realize there is nothing material in this world that I really want-- besides a horse and a new car.

Christmas makes me realize how lucky I am that I have a family and friends and a decent life, but more than anything I think about the things I don't have.

I'm so lonely.

Some stranger came to my bar today and told me thinks he might be in love with me. That I'm amazing, and that I deserve an awesome guy.

He's right you know, I'm fabulous.

People like this guy, strangers that walk into the bar and chat with me for a while, hear that I'm single and tell me never to settle for less than I deserve.

Damn straight. I know that. But it means I have to be lonely.

Been lonely for a long time now.

*sigh*

I'm waiting.